mondays lies

the ndp are calling for canada to bring all of our soldiers come from afghanistan.  every other political party are like, what a stupid idea.  they will all end up voting no to that one, and everything will stay the same.  politics is serious business.

britain was on top of it again.  they arrested 5 al-qaida dudes who were gonna blow stuff up.  pretty original idea there.  they are linked to the other dudes that blew up the trains in 2005. 

people are freaking out about climate change still.  john baird released a douche plan for the environment, people called him a douche.  he said he wasn’t and neither was the plan.  now the world is all like, weak plan canada, what the hell should we do now?  i like how on any other topic, what canada does or says is more the often ignored, but people start to realize that, hey, we are melting the world, it’s up to us to come up with a plan to fix it.  hey world, guess what, eat shit…… love canada.

china loves spying on canada.  the head of csis says that china is at the top of the list when it comes to suspicious foreign activity.  yeah, because china is so interested in our secret doughnut recipe and how to perfectly win a face off.

cuba is having it’s annual may day parade tomorrow.  people are sad because they don’t know if castro will show up or not.  you know what you should probably be worried about cuba?  the fact the man can’t breathe on his own and as soon as he croaks, here come the states!! enjoy communism while you can guys, democracy and foreign influence is right around the corner!!

last but certainly not least, you have only a few hours till tax deadline.  if you haven’t done them by now, might as well just fuck off to cuba.  take the money you owe and go start a bar called “castro’s place”. 

happy drinking!

lay down, shut up

little buddy

10 bucks sez he’s waiting by the door for me to get home so he can nap on my chest.

it’s cool though, his purring put’s me out like sleeping pills.

such a little gentleman.

sundays lies

justin trudeau decided he’s going to be like daddy and try to be a politician.  He says he’ll try real hard to win, but other people are better.  he says he doesn’t want anything handed to him, he yould rather win it on his on merits.  yah for rich kids.

harper went to quebecs heartland to try look like a hero fighting sepratism.  i know, your asking yourself, quebec has heart?  he stood in front of 400 people, spoke in french, and was still a douche.

enviroment minister john baird, who seems more and more incompetent at his job with every passing day, was mad because david suzuki and al gore are taking turns making him look like a clown.  he was like, don’t make fun of my plan, when you were vice-president emissions increased and stuff.  al gore retorted by eating a cake and laughing like destro from g.i. joe.

a bunch of cops in vancouver went into a condo and came out with rambo’s secret weapon stash.  they had to bring in military explosives experts to deal with the bundle of goods.  charges were pending against rambo, who quickly made a daring escape by breaking the necks of 8 officers and then jumping off a cliff into some trees and disappearing into the night.

governor general michaelle jean is urging kids not have a “bling bling” attitude.  she made these remarks at harry jerome awards for african-canadian excellence.  there are so many things wrong with this news story, i can’t begin to know where to start…..

and finally, the states are telling people that it’s safe to eat hog who have been contaminated with poison pet food.  oh yeah, for sure, bring on the bacon. 

happy eating kids.